im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
