its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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