Plan B is the new Plan A
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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