I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
