Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
