How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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