Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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