i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
