you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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