How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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