Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
