dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
