? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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