She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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