That's when you crack a 10am beer
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
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