some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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