People with herpes should wear stickers.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
