So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
