I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
i've created a new STD.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Randomize
