It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I love having hate sex.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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