thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
You need Xanax blowdarts
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
