fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize