I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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