Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
