Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
