i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
she pinky promised me she was 18
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
