She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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