How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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