but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
