Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Randomize
