ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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