She's JV to your varsity
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
