everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
