Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(515): View more from Iowa

he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.

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(904): View more from Florida

In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.

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(540): View more from Virginia

Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2

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(210): View more from Texas

I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af

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