YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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