you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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