so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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