I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
