His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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