Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
