I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
