planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize