If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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