I can tuck mytits in my pants
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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