I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize