Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize