omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
