He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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