You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Just pee around me
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
