This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
