oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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