Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
