Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
