Someone shit on the floor
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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