I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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