Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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