dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
