Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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