wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
