the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
