But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
